“With motherhood, the most transcendental thing was forgetting myself”

He completely changed. Before becoming a mother, I thought of having a baby almost as if it were a doll to feed and care for. But I didn't take into account other considerations, such as changes in my personality, work, or relationship. My first daughter completely absorbed me in a way I never imagined: I rejected family help, distrusted everyone and was not able to leave her with anyone. A chaos of new discoveries and sensations.

There is a saying that when you become a mother, you get used to living with a piece of your heart outside your body. Before giving birth I thought this was corny, and even during my daughter's first year of life I didn't have this feeling either, because the maternal instinct thing took a long time to come to me. It wasn't seeing the positive in the pregnancy test and wanting to go out of my way for my child, no. It was all much more gradual. But the day did come when you really forget about yourself, your interests for your well-being and everything revolves around your children. Beware, this is not healthy either and 5 years later I am trying to recover some privacy for myself. But yes, the most transcendental thing that happened to me was forgetting myself, my husband and everything that was not the children.

I'm not exactly an example of organization and every day I go to bed with the feeling of having done few things, with low intensity and all wrong. Of course, when the girl started going to school, I saw the future in a different way! But at 4 months the second had been born, that there is no one to beat the plaintiff, so we started all over again. That's why I define myself as a mom, blogger, self-employed and whatever, 24 hours a day, because I jump from one activity to another from morning to night, or in the middle of the night. Always putting out fires, always using spare minutes to do tasks that perhaps would need much more time and much more concentration... I have a life permanently on the run.

I prefer to write in the morning, as early as possible because that's when I'm clearer, the writing spreads more, the children interrupt me less and it all adds up. The topics that I like the most are those of childcare, because after trying so many gadgets it has become almost a hobby: knowing the novelties, the amazing inventions, the ones that seem to me to be tremendously silly... There is everything! Also about leisure plans with children, because we were always very clear that we wanted to continue traveling, that with the little ones we could continue discovering the world and luckily, although with some modifications, we have succeeded!

• “That breastfeeding was a thing of ancient people, with the tremendous advance that is the bottle” I passed on this comment, and here I am after 5 and a half years of uninterrupted breastfeeding.
• “That I would see how children who do not sleep, who do not eat, touch me” The typical comments of other parents with more experience, who seem to have come to the world to interrupt the procreation of the species with similar messages of spirit.
• The one who took the cake was my former boss. When announcing my pregnancy at work, he decided that I was no longer a trustworthy person: they took the keys from my office, transferred me to my workplace, excluded me from meals and meetings. It was evident that reconciliation would be impossible with her. And after maternity leave I left my position.

Don't get obsessed reading! Mine is more of an e-book* compilation of the peculiarities of a practically asymptomatic pregnancy, because nobody had told me that this type of pregnancy could exist. Come on, I have never been as well physically as when I was pregnant. But before living it in the first person, even months before being truly pregnant, I was already reading about the divine and the human aspects of pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, parenting. I had to give it up because I was going crazy with so much information and then with a baby that didn't fit in the manuals. With a little common sense and adapting each one to your baby and your family, we all get ahead.

*Family here we leave you the link so you can cheer up and read it! https://amzn.to/2m2LvA2

Disconnect? What is that and when is it done again? Hahaha! My children don't give up: they go to bed late and get up early, so we don't even have the typical time for parents to disconnect at the end of the day. For a few months, the only thing I have been able to do is go out 2-3 hours a week to try to become a runner (for now I only walk fast, because this great body is not gifted for running). But I rarely get that couple of hours each week. Neither do we go out alone, as a couple without children, nor do we travel without them, so our maximum aspiration is to watch 20 minutes of television at the end of the day or take refuge in a bathroom in turn to read or something. How little glamor we have!

For the next year I don't have anything clear, because until my little son goes to school I know that anything big is out of my reach. Luckily, I have started working as a Community Manager for other brands related to motherhood and of course, I would like to be able to continue on this path of generating content for others. As a mother, I only hope that these children I have will last me forever and grow up in a reasonably positive way. No plans to expand the family or these crazy things.

That you do it out of the pure desire to share experiences, knowledge and to connect with other people in the same situation. This is how I have started each and every one of the blogs that I have, without expecting anything in return, without hidden interests beyond these and I cannot complain about the response I have had. This obsession with SEO, likes, followers, the use of bots, fraudulent purchases on networks... I just don't understand them. In my community we are few but I think we are well matched, that they talk to me without asking for anything in return, I do not have to force them to do anything, some days I tell things that are more interesting and others less, but always with freedom for both parties. Of course, the legal path is a long-distance race (very, very long-distance) that does not give immediate results, but you sleep divinely with a clear conscience (and that I have very few hours to sleep).

We have finished with the questions… now tell us who you would invite to be the protagonist of our interview section…

I invite @lanavedelbebe

Well, we already have the next stop 😉

We say goodbye family, with the joy that always brings us talking to families who share their experiences without sweetening, so we realize that being parents is a path that at times is flat and fluid, but in others the ups and downs seem to never end. In addition, it helps us to de-dramatize and know that we are on the train of permanent adaptation to change, not only ours but our little ones. Real and fantastic at the same time. Until next time!

Arrivederci….